188 days to go

Never one to shy away from a multitasking opportunity, I saw the inclement Easter weather, matched it to my need to go outside and identified an opportunity to test-drive my performance outerwear (sadly my hugely palatable snowboarding jacket Just Won't Do).

Not since technology advanced to allow you to personalise your desktop have options been so overwhelming. But for the unreasonably demanding nature of public transport, I would still be varying the widths of cuffs, bending the peak of the hood or considering any number of venting options.

After blocking off a suitable chunk of my diary to deal with these issues, I headed cautiously for the station, aware that wearing anything remotely linked to the cagoule family was likely to conjure a parade of friends and acquaintances eager to judge my fashion crimes.

I had nothing to fear, however, as the hood dropped so far down my face that only aficionados of my nose tip would have been able to pick me out of a line-up.

This is not to criticise the manufacturers, fine, upstanding lot I'm sure - they advertise in the Telegraph after all - but more my freakishly small head. Seriously, I'm amazed I can even remember my PIN number.

Reverse bobble-head aside, Wendy pointed out that I have now transformed into the midget from Don't Look Now. I had no idea what she was talking about - I don't watch scary movies. Called it Don't Look Now? I can take the hint. A quick google confirmed that yes, I now look like a murderous midget (top tip - don't search 'murderous midget' on public transport unless your fellow travellers look like they might get a kick out of you screaming and vaulting backwards over the seats). At least this should help deal with the panda/dragon threat.

Having made it to dry land and been generally appalled by the reflections in shop windows, my science friend, who has a vast collection of performance items (including the near-mythical 'normal-looking black base layer'), had the audacity to ask: "did it keep you dry?"

Yes *sulk*

What we have learned:
Personalised desktops? Yes, that's right, I'm old

My sister is knitting me a hat out of qiviut - musk ox underhair - the warmest substance known to man that can't also be used as a weapon. More importantly than the heat, it will help fill the hood

Boot update:
Wendy was planning on wearing hers to pop out at lunchtime. That I haven't heard from her yet bodes ill