156 days to go

Carrying Compeed in your backpack may mystically protect you from needing to use it, but the same can't be said of an OS map and iPhone with compass and GPS.

I had wondered what the difference between rambling and hiking was and I think I may have found out today. Actually I hadn't at all, it's all to do with real ale, but that would ruin the story.

I had headed out planning on going to Hassocks or Lewes, but when the bus to Devil's Dyke stopped next to me I took it as a sign and got on. Plus, next to Curry Mallet in Somerset, it's the UK's best place name, which is enough of a reason for me.

I had also been somewhat surprised in our to-ing and fro-ing along the Downs that I hadn't come across it yet and was curious to see where it went. Geography fans will realise I hadn't seen it because it is west of Hassocks. Now I did GCSE Geography, but we all know that's less actual places and more alluvial plains. I used to teach orienteering too, but you didn't see me getting out the map and compass (likewise I taught sailing and archery - but having me on your yacht caught in a storm surrounded by Red Indians will not lower your insurance premiums).

I understand that, if I had one of those round-the-neck map holders then I could easily look at the map, but that raises a whole other set of issues. So I left the map in the bag and headed in what I suspected might be the right direction and yes, Devil's Dyke turned out to be a but ravine-y and a little heavy on the gorse, but when I eventually popped out at our old friend the A273 I knew all would be well.


What we have learned:
In the Top Gear Bolivia special, Richard Hammond was wearing the same performance trousers as me. I was tremendously reassured - his legs stayed on and he was able to operate heavy machinery. And I can say that I am climbing a mountain in Richard Hammond’s trousers. We’re about the same size, it could well be true.

I was also very covetous of his head torch* that was shaped like a dinosaur and roared. Mine merely has the choice of white or red lights - the latter presumably for reversing down the mountain.

In the same hugely informative piece of programming, it turns out that Viagra is a treatment for altitude sickness. I can’t say this has been mentioned in any literature that I’ve been given so far.


*Turns out it’s from M&S. “Not just any mountain, this is an M&S mountain...”

Boot update:
I gathered a fairly glutinous volume of chalky clay. It looks very impressive. And permanent.